Always Her
by australopithecushomo
Summary: Faith's got a bit of a crush, well more than just a bit. She's head over heels for the other slayer, but doubts Buffy will ever reciprocate her feelings. But in order for Faith to find out, she's going to have to take a chance. Season 3 AU Buffy/Faith
1. Chapter 1

This is my first ever shot at writing fanfic, so go easy on me. This is from Faith's p.o.v.. I hope you guys like it, it may be kinda short, or a longer ongoing plot, I don't know, it depends, whatever, anyways, tell me what you think! I don't know what to rate it, the rating may change as the story progresses. Thanks for reading :)

All characters and stuff aren't mine, they belong to Joss Whedon, creator of Buffy:the vampire slayer.  
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I close my eyes and lean my head back resting it against the warm body beneath me. I can feel the steady rise and fall of her chest. As I take a deep breath I inhale her scent, a scent uniquely her. Just her. Only her. Always her. Forever her.

I'm still trying to figure how we ended up like this, all cuddled up and snuggly on the couch. I remember that when we got back from patrol we had both been totally covered in slime and guts from some real old nasty demon.

He gave us a real good fight, even got in a few punches, but in the end I managed to knock him down long enough for B to decapitate him with her axe. Man, how were we to know that when you decapitated that thing that the whole corpse would explode a minute later? B was busy wiping guts off her axe blade when all of a sudden this hissing sound starts up, and the next thing we know the demon is nothing but a pile of mush and the rest it is coating our hair and clothing. Man, that stuff stunk real bad, and thanks to slayer senses I'm pretty sure I can still sort of smell it in my hair even after a long, long shower.

-A few hours earlier-

"Shit B, I didn't know that was gonna happen. And Aw man, you really stink, you know that?" I chuckle and watch her smirk and shake her head at me.

"Thanks Faith, that's what every girl longs to hear. You know, you don't smell too fresh yourself all covered in demony mush and such," she giggles and pokes me with one of her stakes as if she's afraid to touch me.

"Aw come on B, lay off, you gotta get down and dirty more often, you know, whatever. Come here, give us a hug," I smirk and lean forward.

"Ew Faith get away! Neither one of us is doing or touching anything or anyone until after we wash off these demon guts," she side steps me and starts to walk off towards the gate of the cemetery, "Come on F, let's head back to my place and wash up and then take care of the post-slayage hungries."

"How bout that other h B, wanna help me with that too?," I waggle my eyebrows suggestively and wink.

"In your dreams slayer," she says and hooks her arm through mine leading us home.

We get back to her house and it's completely dark, she tells me her mom is on some sort of gallery exhibition trip to LA or whatever.

I'm about to head up the front porch steps when she tugs me back, "Nuh uh, Mom's gonna kill me if we track this slime all into the house, she gets upset enough as if when we just track in vamp dust and cemetery dirt. I can't imagine how much trouble I'd get in if we got this stuff all over her carpet! We'll rinse off out here in the hose first, then go inside and shower. You can shower first if you want."

"You know, it might save us time if we just shared the shower," I say giving her that dimpled smile that's sure to leave her flustered as always. We are now standing in the backyard and she's unwinding the hose and turning it on.

"Naked together with post-slay effects? No thank you. You shower first, then I'll take it." She rinses her self off and hands over the hose. I begin to rinse off the slime as best I can, but I pause momentarily as she's stripping off her clothes down to her panties and bra and then balling the slime coated clothing up in a wad. I try to say something but for a second I just open and close my mouth without successfully saying anything. I'm only knocked out of my daze when she snatches back the hose and douses me in the face with the cold water.

"Hey! What was that for?!"

"Strip off those slimy clothes and go wash up, you can borrow something of mine to wear until your clothes are clean."

"Nah that's ok B you go first, I'll wait in the kitchen, maybe cook us up a snack or somethin'." I kick off my doc martins, peel off my leather pants and shrug off my jacket, then pull my shirt over my head. I give B a shit eating grin as I catch her starring, she obviously wasn't expecting me to not be wearing a bra, but I'd have to say she doesn't seem too disappointed. "Like what you see?"

"What? Huh? Oh, no. Um, let's go wash up and um, yeah," she leads the way into the kitchen through the back door, "I've got some sweats and a T-shirt you can borrow up in my room, but you probably should wait to put it on till you've washed the demon chunks out of your hair."

"I'm fine B, just go wash up, I'll wait down here until you're done, just leave me a towel and some clothes in the bathroom and call me when you are done," I'm trying to keep eye contact, but it's really hard to do with her standing nearly naked right in front of me. I can let her catch me starring, she's B, she's straight, straight as an arrow, I mean, she's even got soul-boy and all. Sure I flirt with her, but she knows that's just how I am, there's no way she'd take it seriously, even if I wish she would. Damn, I've never felt this way. I don't know if it's the slayer connection or what, but my stomach just does cartwheels whenever she's near, and every time we touch my skin feels like it's on fire.

While I was lost in thought she retreated upstairs and I can now hear the shower running. *Aw man, fuck me, B is naked right now! Naked and wet, with warm water cascading over her toned little body. Uhhhhhhhhhg...no, Faith, control yourself. Buffy isn't into you that way. Just settle for being friends. Relax. breath.*

I calm myself enough to focus my mind elsewhere. I open the freezer and find a frozen pizza. *Well it's not gourmet, but hey, it's food!* I preheat the oven and pop it in. By the time I'm taking the pizza out B is already walking into the kitchen in her cute little sushi pajamas with her damp hair up in a pony tail.

"Mhhhmmmm," she moans as she sniffs the air and I swear I just came a little, "I didn't realize how hungry I was."

"Well B, it's just one pizza so it's not gonna sate our entire slayer appetites but it's a start. You look around for something else too and I'll go clean up." I slip out of the kitchen and head upstairs.

In the bathroom she's already laid out a towel and some clothes for me. I slip out of my panties, turn on the faucet, and step under the spray of the shower. As the warm water washes over me I allow it to work out my tense muscles. *Relax. Just relax, she's just Buffy. Calm, down. Just Buffy, the girl you love. Oh god, wait, Buffy? What? Love? Um...oh man...*


	2. Chapter 2

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Ok, chapter two! Tell me what you guys think! :)

I'm gonna keep the rating as teen for now, but as the story progresses I may change it to mature if I think it moves that direction.  
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I step out of the shower after spending quite a while washing demon out of every crevice, and then an even longer time trying to cool off and ease my tension (if you know what I mean). I towel off and pull on the clothes B left for me.

When I head back down stairs I find B in the living room flipping through channels. She's got the pizza I made on the coffee table along with a big bowl of popcorn, some twizzlers, and a couple cans of soda. She's all curled up on the couch with a blanket thrown over her lap, I just can't help thinking how adorable she looks.

"Hey Faith, had you taken any longer and I might have worried you'd drowned in there."

"What can I say B, I had an itch to scratch," I shrug.

"Ew gross, I so didn't need that picture in my mind."

"The imagery is free of charge B, you're welcome."

"You're impossible," she smirks and scoots over on the couch to clear room for me lifting up the corner of the blanket offering me some.

I scoop up an handful of popcorn and shovel it into my mouth. She pops open one of the soda cans and hands it to me then repeats the motion and sips hers slowly. I can't help but stare as her cute pouty little lips wrap softly along the lip of the can. She takes a sip then her tongue slips out to lick away any excess soda along the top of the can. *Faith you got it bad yo, jealous of a soda can? Really? This is ridiculous, you're ridiculous, uh, I mean, I'm ridiculous*.

She catches me starring, "What's up Faith? You've been zoning on me all night. Something up?" She seems genuinely concerned. *Aw B, if only you knew*.

"I'm five by five," I shrug.

She scowls at me, "Come on Faith, I know we may not know have known each other as long as I've know Xander and Willow, but even I know that you aren't really ok when you say you're 'five by five', whatever that means."

"Look B, five by five, if it were dimensions then it'd be like a squa.."

"You ever wonder how long we'll keep on slaying like this, saving the world, before we meet our early expiration dates like slayers tend to do?" She interrupted me, but now I don't even care, she seems lost in thought and kinda upset.

I scoot a little closer to her on the couch and touch her arm, "Hey B, look at me," but she's just kinda starring down into her lap. I swear I can sorta see her lip quiver a little, "Buffy, cut it out. Neither of us is dying anytime soon, we've got each other, and the scoobies, and even soul-boy, we're not alone. All those other slayers, they didn't make it because they didn't have a team let alone backup, but we do. You're going to make it. You're going to graduate high school, you're going to go to college, spend your life with someone you love, maybe have a few kids, and then die at a ripe old age. No one, no vamp or demon is gonna take that life away from you, and if I lose mine making sure that's true, then so be it."

Just as I say that last statement her head pops up and she looks at me in the eye. Her expression looks confused, questioning, as if she's looking for something, "What?"

"Huh?"

"What did you just say?" She's studying my face.

"Uh, that no one is going to stop you from living the life you deserve," I say hesitantly, hoping she isn't too stuck on that last confession part.

"No, after that."

"Um nothing," *god I hope she drops it*.

"It wasn't nothing, you said something," she's watching me very carefully and I'm scared. Should I cover up my confession, or just say it, say 'B, I'd die for you.'.

She moves closer to me and buries her head into my shoulder. I tense up, not sure how to react until I hear hear muffled sobs. I can't hold back any longer; I wrap my arms around her and just hold her. Her sobs are louder now and I can feel her tears soaking through my T-shirt.

After a few minutes her sobs quiet. She wraps her arms around me and clings to me. She pulls back, but still holds onto me, "Faith, can you promise me something?"

"Um, yeah, sure B, what is it?"

-to be continued-

I'll try to post ch.3 tomorrow! Thanks for reading! Please review! :)


	3. Chapter 3

Ok, here's chapter 3! I hope you guys like it, please review and give me comments and critique! :) enjoy

Previously in ch.2

After a few minutes her sobs quiet. She wraps her arms around me and clings to me. She pulls back, but still holds onto me, "Faith, can you promise me something?"

"Um, yeah, sure B, what is it?"

-Chapter 3-

"Faith, promise me that you won't try to sacrifice yourself for me," her eyes are locked with mine and her expression seems both worried, hurt, and scared.

I look down, breaking the eye contact. I can't promise her that, because it know that if it came down to it, I'd break that promise. I stay silent, studying a spot on the floor beside the couch.

She slowly removes her arms from around me and takes my hands in hers, "Please, promise me that you won't be reckless, don't risk both our lives just to save me! You said I deserve a life, well, well so do you."

I feel like I'm being scolded, but I can't make myself feel ashamed because at the moment the only thing I can think about is how amazing it feels to have her hands in mine.

She gently squeezes my hands and I look up at her, "Faith, please...".

I finally respond, "I can't. I'm sorry B, Buffy, but I can't, I just can't make a promise to you that I won't keep,". I lean forward and gently place a kiss on her right cheek. I hesitate there for few seconds and then move back, scooting away from her on the couch to put a little space between us.

I'm not looking at her because I'm afraid that I'll see a look of disgust on her face and she hasn't said anything, so I just stare forward at whatever random thing is on the tv.

Minutes pass, and neither of us has spoken. I pick up a piece of pizza and start eating it and a moment later she leans forward to pick up a piece to eat as well. We eat our food in silence, but my brain's going crazy. *I shouldn't have done that, faith, you really shouldn't have done that. B's gonna freak, she's gonna act like she's okay with it, but deep down she's gonna hate you. Look what you did, the only person you've ever loved, and you've gone and made her hate you. She hates you. They all hate you, they always have and always will. Everyone. They hate you. You don't deserve to be loved. B hates you because of what you've done, who you are, what you've said. You should have just locked up all you emotions, closed all doors. God Faith! You fucking moron. The one good thing you've ever had in your life, and you just fucked it up. You're a fuck up. That's what they always have said, and so it must be true. You're nothing but a fuck up.*

I'm chewing my pizza, and starring blackly at the tv screen and trying as hard as I can to hold back the tears that are fighting to break through. I've got a lump in my throat and a tight knot in my chest. I can't let her see me upset, she doesn't need to see this, she doesn't need to deal with this, *I don't deserve her pity*.

"Faith look at me," she said it so quietly that if I wasn't a slayer I probably wouldn't have heard her, "Faith...".

I keep my eyes on the television, focusing on chewing my pizza. *Chew. Chew. Don't look at B. Chew. Don't turn, don't look. Chew. Don't.* I freeze when I feel her gently tug on my arm.

"Faith, look at me," she says again. She pulls on my arm, turning me to look at her. She reaches up with the hand not holding onto my arm and takes away the pizza I had been nibbling at to set it down on the coffee table. "Faith, look at me, please," her voice sounds pleading, begging, I snap my gaze up and look at her. She looks tentative, nervous, unsure, but she doesn't seem angry or disgusted.

"If you won't promise me that you won't sacrifice yourself, then promise me that you'll stay by my side and work as a team with me. We're both safer that way. And I don't want to lose you, you're the only one who understands what it's like to be a slayer. Giles, Xander, Willow, Oz, and Angel, they just don't get it. They don't feel this weight, they don't know what it's like, they can choose to opt out of helping me. But us, we have to do this, we are the chosen ones. If we don't do it, know one else will. But Faith, I don't want to do it alone, I did it for awhile before you were here on my own and look what happened, I died. If either of us is on our own, we'll die. Promise me, that you won't go off alone, please."

I'm kinda stunned. I can't really talk cause as she started monologging those tears finally broke free and are now trailing down my face. I nod my head because it's the best I can do.

She seems satisfied because she sort of half-smiles. She pulls me forward into a hug and we just hold each other for a long while. I think she's crying too, but I can't be sure because my sobs are so loud I can't really hear much else. I cling to her, as if letting go means losing her. When I tighten my hold I feel her arms tighten as well.

After awhile, I'm not sure quite how long, we've gradually adjusted to sitting facing the tv. We stopped sobbing awhile ago. We're still holding each other, and as I stare blankly at the tv, I can't help but feel safe and content in her arms. I haven't felt safe in a long, well, actually I don't think I've ever really felt totally safe. It's a strange sense, but I like it. I snuggle closer to her and feel her grip tighten around me.

I can't help wondering what this means. *Are we just comforting each other? Or does this mean more? I definitely know it means more to me! but does it for her?*

I'm feeling kind of sleepy, suddenly feeling safe after a long eternity of being on guard will do that to you. I'm trying to keep my eyes trained on the tv, but my eyelids are feeling heavier and heavier as time goes on.

I've just started to drift off to sleep when I feel something soft briefly brush against my forehead and then I head B say something, "Goodnight Faith. I love you."

I'm too close to sleeping to wake back up, but I'm sure that as I slowly slip into sleep I have a smile on my face.


	4. Chapter 4

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Sorry that it's been a few days since my last update! I've just kinda had a little bit of writers' block, I couldn't decide what direction to take the story in. Thanks for reading and thanks to those of you who have been writing reviews, your comments are helpful! Well, here's chapter 4, enjoy! :)

P.O.V. may change partway through the chapter. I'm gonna stick with mostly writing 1st person from Faith's pov, but I think I may sometimes switch to Buffy. I'll try to make it clear who's telling the story and make it obvious when pov switches.

Chapter 4:

Faith's P.O.V.

I open my eyes to find my head resting against something soft, warm. I'm still half asleep so I cuddle in closer to my warm pillow. But just as I start to move I hear my pillow sigh, and I freeze.

Buffy mumbles something in her sleep, then proceeds to wrap her arms tighter around me. I watch her for a moment, worried she's going to wake up and freak when she finds us in this position. She's laying on the couch and I'm laying half on top of her with my head resting against her breasts. Her arms are wrapped tightly around me though, so even if I wanted to move, couldn't without waking her.

I close my eyes and lean my head back resting it against the warm body beneath me. I can feel the steady rise and fall of her chest. As I take a deep breath I inhale her scent, a scent uniquely her. Just her. Only her. Always her. Forever her.

She sighs again in her sleep and her nose wrinkles a little kinda like it does when she's thinking really hard. I can't help but chuckle a little at how adorable she looks when she's asleep. *Faith, no stop it, you're watching her while she sleeps? You're such a fucking creep. What if she woke up and caught you watching her?*

But then I remember what I heard her say when she thought I was already asleep. *Did she really say she loves me? No, I must have already been asleep. Yeah, that's it, it must have been a dream, a really, really good dream. But what about what I felt brush my forehead right before she said that? Did she kiss me? No, she couldn't have. And even if she did, a kiss on the forehead doesn't necessarily have romantic motives. She was comforting me, that's all, if she really did even kiss my forehead...*

I'm lay quiet, still, listening to her breathing and the steady beating of her heart. She's beautiful. That's the only thing that comes to mind when I glance up to take in her slightly parted lips, her closed eyelids, her tossed hair: absolutely beautiful.

I glance at the digital clock on the VCR, 5:30 am. Damn, we're gonna have to get up in about an hour. She's got school and I told Giles I'd meet with him in the library this morning for some training. She stirs a little under me, and I tense. I'm worried how she'll react when she finds how we're cuddled and woven so closely.

Slowly, carefully, I wiggle out from her grasp and extricate myself from our tangle of bodies and limbs. Standing above her next to the couch I lean over and place a gentle kiss on her forehead, light enough not to wake her, but lingering long enough to mean something.

I tuck a strand of blonde hair behind her ear and smile. I love this girl more than I can even describe. Before meeting her I'd never loved anyone before in my life, in any sort of way, not romantic, not platonic. But then I met her, I first saw her while dancing away at the bronze luring some sleazy vamp out into the alley so I could stake him. There I was, dancing away, good old Faith, "want take have", no regrets, "h and h", and then...then I saw her, sitting at a table off to the side with her friends. And I felt something, not just the slayer connection, I felt something more. I felt what all those romance novels and cheesy movies talk about, you know? Those warm butterflies in your gut, that ridiculous giddiness, the warm feeling in your chest, that overwhelming urge to be closer to them, to protect them, to know them, to love them. I mean sure, I was pretty fucking turned on too, I mean have you seen B? But that doesn't matter. I'd rather be there for her and be her friend and not ever get to fuck her, than fuck her and leave her and never get to know her. I care about her. Why? I have no fucking idea why, but I do, and it's driving me insane.

I grab my slimy clothes from the previous night from the kitchen floor and step into my boots. I grab a slip of paper and write her a quick note. I leave the note on the coffee table next to her and place another chaste kiss on her forehead before quietly slipping out the front door.

-Buffy's P.O.V.-

I open my eyes slowly and stretch. Problem is, I forgot I was on the couch and expected to be on my bed which is much larger. So in the process of stretching I fall off the side of the couch, effectively knocking a few of the things on the coffee table off on top of me. *smooth Buffy, really smooth*. But then I find a brief note:

"Hey B,  
It's about 5:30. I didn't wanna wake ya. I wanna get back to my room and change before meeting Giles, you, and the scoobies in the library. Thanks for letting me borrow some clothes, I'll drop em off later. See ya later

Faith"

It's only then that the previous night's events all come spinning back to me. Explosive demon. Slimy demon guts. Faith in just her underwear. *mmmhmmm...if only she hadn't been wearing any*. Showering. Watching some random tv show. My mental breakdown. Faith saying she'd die for me. Me asking her to promise not to sacrifice herself. Her kissing me on the cheek...*Aw Faithy...* Me asking her to promise that we'll then be a team, for both our sakes. Her tears. Her sobs. My tears. My sobs. Holding her. Her holding me. Holding each other. Falling asleep in each other's arms. And then when she was asleep...

-flashback-

Her breathing has slowed. I think she's asleep now. Wow, she's really cute when she's sleeping. *She'd kick my ass if I ever told her that*.

I tighten my grip on her and gently place a kiss to her forehead. I can feel the blood burn under my skin and my heartbeat quicken, even from that brief chaste contact. I pull back and gently whisper in her ear, confident she's asleep, "Goodnight Faith. I love you."

-end of flashback-

I can't help but smile as I remember the contented sigh she let out in her sleep after I said that. *Oh god what if she wasn't asleep yet? What if she remembered it when she woke up and that's why she left so early this morning, because she couldn't face me.*

Tears are threatening to fall so I stand and take a few breaths. I sleepily shuffle upstairs and enter the bathroom. I grab my toothbrush and begin to brush my teeth while studying my reflection in the mirror. *Ew, I look horrible. It's no wonder why Faith ran this morning when she saw me, I look worse than some of the demons I've slain. I guess crying will do that to you.* But it's then that I notice a smear of red on my forehead. *Is that...is that Faith's lipstick? No...it's probably some cut or bruise that slayer healing hasn't managed to resolve yet.* I lift my hand up to rub my fingertips against the smudge of crimson, and find it rubs off. *Faith kissed my forehead? When? Was it this morning before she left? Why?*

I'm starring blankly at my reflection in the mirror when I feel my stomach jump and lurch. *Oh god, I know that feeling* I quickly throw open the toilet seat and kneel down in front of it just in time for the entire contents of my stomach to be emptied out into the porcelain bowl.

I lay there on the cold bathroom floor for a few minutes until I hear the front door open. A few minutes later as I'm beginning to drift into an ill induced sleep I feel someone help me up and guide me into my bedroom and tuck me in.

So there's chapter 4! Tell me what you guys think so far! I'll try to update soon!


	5. Chapter 5

Hey guys, sorry it's been so long since my last update! I've kinda been busy and not feeling too well so I haven't felt much like writing lately. I'll try to update more regularly though. Thanks for reading and please review and tell me what you think!  
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Chapter 5:

-Faith's P.O.V.-

After leaving Buffy's place I head back towards my motel room to shower and change clothes before meeting up with the scoobs.

When I get there I strip and jump in the shower. I'm trying as hard as I can not to think about B, but, I just can't stop thinking about her: her laugh, her voice, her face, her hazel eyes, her pouty little lips, her body... *Damn it Faith no, don't think about Buffy. No. It's not right, it's just, think about something else. Yeah. You've got an itch to scratch, well think of something else instead of B. Anything thing else, um, anything else, just not...mhmmmm B...Hmmmm...think of, porn, yeah porn, tits, ass, Mhhhmmm, Buffy...no! Don't think about Buffy...don't... Damn it, whatever, I give up.*

I run my hands down over my chest and gently massage my nipples imagining that it's her hands and her mouth and not my hands. I feel my nipples harden at the touch and a surge of arousal runs straight through me straight to my core. I moan and slowly trail my right hand down over my stomach towards my center, continuing to tease my nipples with my left hand. When my hand reaches its destination I'm already soaked and I begin to lazily play with my clit imagining it's her tongue.

My heart is racing and my body feels like it's on fire. It feels as though my body is calling out for her, lusting to feel her bare skin pressed up against it. I speed up the pace at which I'm stroking my clit and I can feel my arousal building up. I release a moan as a pang of pleasure surges though me, *BUFFY*, and each jolt of pleasure is answered by a greater surge of longing, lust, and desire.

I lower my left hand which had still been teasing my nipples down to circle my hole. I can feel how close I am so I slowly insert my middle finger inside myself.

"Buffffffffffy..." I moan and begin to quickly thrust in and out of myself stroking my g-spot.

I'm so close, and it feels so good, but something's missing. Buffy. She's not here, as much as I want it to be her inside of me and it to be her touching me, it's not. *Oh god I love her and want her so much! B, Buffy, yes, oh, yes! Oh! Ohhhhh...*

I stop playing with my clit and press the palm of my other hand against it my clit while still thrusting in and out. I imagine B standing up to face me and then latching on to my neck to suck on my pulse point.

It's that image that sends me over the edge and my body convulses and pulses and I'm trembling. I'm cumming so hard I nearly slip and fall. But then as I slowly come down from my orgasm I feel an empty feeling in my stomach, and I feel dirty. Real dirty. *Ha! What the fuck is up? I've fucked tons of people and I've gotten myself off tons of times, so why do I feel guilty about it now?*

*Because it's Buffy...I need her...her...the real her...oh shit...B...*

I quickly turn off the water and wrap a towel around myself. I walk back into my room and go about getting dressed and ready for the day. I pull on my favorite pair of leather pants, a tight fitting white tank, my boots, and polish it off with my jean jacket. I put on some makeup, tousle my hair a bit, and then head out in the direction of good old Sunnydale High.

When I get to the library I walk through the doors to see Xander and Red arguing who gets the final donut or something.

"I went to pick them up, therefore I should have fair claim to it," Xander argues.

"Yeah but Xander you've eaten like six of them, and I've only had two," Willow complains.

"It's not my fault you eat slowly."

"I don't eat slowly, you just inhale them, you, you, donut inhaler," she's trying the resolve face but it's really not working on Xander this time.

I chuckle to myself and step up behind them grabbing the final donut from the box and proceed to sit down in a chair across the table from them, kick up my feet, and then taking a huge bite of the donut. I flash them a shit eating grin and then direct my attention back upon devouring my prize.

Both X-man and Red are just starring at me open mouthed so I grin again and moan a little for emphasis. Willow look likes she's just about to start arguing or yelling at me when G-man comes out of his office.

"Giles, Faith stole my donut," Willow complains.

"Did you save me one? I seem to remember asking you and Xander to save me one when I handed Xander the money to go buy them," asks Giles.

"Oops...I guess we sorta forgot, we were kinda too busy fighting over it..." Xander shrugs.

"I see, very well, but I will say I am slightly disappointed, I was quite looking forward to it," G-man has this sort of wounded puppy look on his face which I've gotta say looks sorts funny for a middle aged British dude.

"Sorry G-man, had I known I wouldn't have eaten it."

"It's not your fault Faith, had you not taken it Xander or Willow would have devoured it anyways," he says sending the two across from me a glare. Dang, he's really pretty upset about that donut. Now I know he's Giles and normally has a stick up his butt anyways, but I guess maybe it's rammed a little further up there today or something.

"Sorry Giles," Xander and Red sigh together, looking like the puppy that just chewed up your favorite pair of shoes when you scold it.

"Very well, but there are much more important matters at hand than fried breakfast pastries. Faith you wouldn't have happened to see Buffy this morning have you?"

"Nah sorry G, after slaying last night we were covered in slime from this one real nasty demon that exploded after B chopped its head off, so we went to her house to clean up and then hung out and ended up falling asleep, but I haven't seen her since early this morning. She was still asleep when I left to go to my motel," now that I think of it usually B is here before I am, I'm usually the last one to arrive. I glance at the clock "7:15". B's like always here by now, what's up?

"I see. You mentioned a particular demon, could you describe it in more detail for me?"

"Yeah, uh, it was big, real tough skin, kinda greenish brownish, stunk like a motherfucker, horny...Uh, I mean, like it had horns on it's head. Um, it had on like some sorta leathery armor or something. And like I said, after B cut off it's head the thing started hissing and then the next thing we know we were covered in demon guts and slime."

"That sounds vaguely familiar, just a moment," he walks into his office and comes back with an old dusty leather bound book, "Ah, here it is. Faith, does this resemble the demon the two of you encountered last night?"

I look at the page he's showing me, and sure enough there's a sketch of old nasty himself in all his slimy stinking glory, "Yeah, that's it. What is it?"

"It is a Morbus Demon. The name comes from the Latin word for disease. It would seem that this particular demon possesses a toxin which if it enters the blood stream will behave very much like a flu virus. Faith, did you or Buffy happen to acquire any cuts or open wounds during the fight?"

"Um he got a few hits in on each of us, but I didn't get more then a bruise, I don't know about B though, and seriously where is she anyways?" I casually glance back at the doors to the library in hopes I'll see her walk through them.

"I'm not entirely certain, but if she was infected by the Morbus toxin she most likely is very ill. Although there is no antidote, this text states that the human immune system will in time fight off the toxin in the same way it would a virus since the toxin in fact behaves much like a virus and even contains a similar protein coating, but recovery may take longer than a normal flu since the body does not contain an antibody tailored to the toxin."

Shit, she's sick? Man, I've gotta go find her, "Hey uh, G? If it's alright with you I'm gonna go check up on her, see what's goin on. Is this thing contagious?"

Giles places the book on the table and removes his glasses then proceeds to clean them, "No, I do not believe so. But be careful anyways, call me and fill me in on Buffy's condition."

"Buffy's sick?" Willow frowns, "Aw but one of her favorite local bands was gonna be playing tonight at the Bronze."

"Don't worry Wills," Xander says patting her on the back for reassurance, "We can always bronze it up another night."

"Yeah, I know. I was just looking forward to it," she sighs.

It's then that I get an idea, "Hey Red, Xan, why don't we do like a movie night with Buffy, since she's sick but not contagious. Tonight after I patrol I'll pick up a couple pizzas and you guys rent a few movies and meet me there. I'll run it by Buffy when I go to check on her. What'd you guys say?"

"Sounds good to me, and I'll pick up some extra snackage and sugary goodness on the way over too!" Xander says enthusiastically.

"Yeah, sure. It'll be fun." Will states, not sounding completely convinced.

"Well, I'll see you guys later, and G-man, I'll call you after checking up on Buffy. See ya!" I walk out of the library and hurriedly leave the school and head towards B's house. I'm worried about her. I mean, if she's sick, sure she's got the whole slayer immune system, but I'm still worried about her. I don't like the idea of her in any sort of distress.

I get to her house and knock on the door. I wait for a moment, and when no one answers I'm about to turn around when B's mom answers the door.

"Faith, it's good to see you. Are you looking for Buffy?"

"Yeah, she wasn't in school so I came to check if she's ok. Is she ok?"

"I think you'd better come in sweetie."

"Um, ok," I shrug and walk inside.

"I came home and found Buffy sick," damn it, she is sick, "She's in bed asleep at the moment," she points towards the stairs, "You can go see her if you like but be careful not to get sick."

"It's ok I'll be fine," I say, deciding to wait to tell her about the Morbus Demon, unsure of how she'll react.

"Ok Faith. Can I get you anything?"

"Nah, I'm fine. Thanks Mrs. S," I walk upstairs taking the stairs three at a time and rush down the hallway into Buffy's room.

She's laying on her side hugging a pillow to her chest and I can't help but think how cute she looks. She mumbles something in her sleep, which I ignore until I catch her mumble my name.

"Fai, no don't. No, Faith, wait, he'll kill you. Wait! No! No! No..." She's now crying in her sleep and tossing and turning. I don't know how else to respond but to lay down on the bed and take her in my arms and start reassuring her.

I hold her tightly against me, "B, hey B it's me. Wake up, it's just a dream, I'm right here. Wake up, look at me, Buffy, hey it's alright. It's ok. It's just a dream. Shhhh. It's ok."

She's slowly opens her eyes and looks up into mine. She reaches up to softly stroke my cheek, "Fai..."

"Shhh, it's ok B, I'm right here. Go back to sleep. It's ok, I'm not going anywhere."

She smiles and snuggles closer to me nuzzling her face into my shoulder. I just continue to hold her, absentmindedly rubbing circles on her back and listening to her heartbeat. After a few minutes her breathing has slowed and I can tell she's asleep again.

I smile and tighten my hold around her a little more. I then rest my head back against the pillow and drift off to sleep, just content to know that I'm right here, next to the women I love.

So that's it for chapter 5! Tell me what you think! Chapter 6 will be posted fairly soon! Thanks for reading! :)


	6. Chapter 6

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Thanks for your continued reading and reviews!

Chapter 6:

-Buffy's P.O.V.-

I wake up and before I even open my eyes I'm acutely aware of the presence of my fellow slayer. She's holding me tightly against her with her arms wrapped protectively around my waist.

I'm debating whether or not to wake her up when I feel another spell of nausea wash over me, forcing me to make up my mind.

"Faith, Faith wake up, I need you to let go of me unless you want me to hurl all over you," I'm already practically dry heaving, trying my best to keep the contents of my stomach in their place. I shake her a little but she only pulls me closer and nuzzles into my neck murmuring in her sleep, "Faith, really, wake up NOW!" I pry open her tight hold around me and bolt from the room making a run straight towards the bathroom.

-Faith's P.O.V.-

"Wha?!" I'm suddenly violently awoken by B leaping out of bed and running. For a second I'm worried she's upset or freaked about finding me there, but then I'm brought back to reality by the sound her her vomiting into the toilet down the hallway.

I climb out of her bed and shuffle sleepily down the hall to peer through the open bathroom doorway. B's kneeling in the floor in front of the good ol' porcelain throne tossin' her cookies. *Aww, poor B...* I walk over to her and kneel down at her side. I lift her hair away from her face and hold it out of the way, meanwhile gently rubbing circles on her back in hopes of comforting her.

After a couple minutes B has finished vomiting and dry heaving and sits back and looks at me with a puzzled expression, "Faith, how am I sick? Slayers almost never get sick. And even when they do it's never too bad...Oh my God Faith, what if that demon last night impregnated me with it's demon spawn or something?!"

I chuckle lightly and she swats at me, "It's not funny! This could be demony morning sickness! Faith we have to go talk to Giles!"

"B calm down, your not pregnant. You're just sick. You're right about it being because of that demon, but you're just sick, you'll get better," I lean forward and she allows me to lift her up and carry her back to her bedroom. I gently set her down on the bed and then return to the bathroom to empty the trash can into a plastic bag and then return to her room.

"Here B," I hand her the empty trash bin, "Incase you get sick again and can't make it all the way to the bathroom."

She takes it from me and sets it beside her bed, "Thanks," she pats the spot on the bed next to her welcomingly so I sit down next to her and begin to explain how the demon got her sick.

"I described it to Giles, he identified it as a 'möbius' or 'morbid' demon or something like that."

"Aren't nearly all demons morbid? With that fixation on death and blood and killing and whatnot?" she wrinkles her nose in thought and I can't help but think it's the most adorable thing I've ever seen.

"Well it was something close to that, um, Latin or Greek for disease I think. Um, Morbus, that's it! Um, yeah so anyways, it's got this toxin thing that when it enters the blood acts basically like a flu virus. G-man said your immune system should fight it off but it might take a few days. In the mean time I'll patrol on my own. Oh! By the way, Red and Xan-man are coming over for a movie night after patrol. You're not contagious but we figured you probably didn't wanna go out feeling how you feel. You ok with a movie night?"

She scoots closer to me and leans her head against my shoulder, "Yeah, it'll be fun. Thanks...but Faith?" her voice wavers a little.

"What is it B?" she seems worried so I can't help but worry too.

"Don't patrol alone, ask Giles or Willow and Xander, or Angel..." she pauses when she feels how I stiffen at hearing Angel's name. "Ask someone else to go with you. Please, last night we agreed to work together, not to fight alone so that both of us are better off. Well I know can't be there with you, but take someone else along, please..." she takes my hand and grasps it firmly, "I don't know what I'd ever do if something happened to you."

I can hold my own slaying, but I understand her concern. I don't wanna be out slaying with anyone but her, but for her I'll do it. "Okay B, I'll take the scoobs. We'll head to your place afterwords for movie night."

"Thank you," she weaves her fingers together with mine, "Fai..."

I'm starring into her eyes and I'm hypnotized. I want so badly to lean in to her and kiss her, but that probably isn't a good idea since just a few minutes ago she was blowing chunks into the the toilet. Aw fuck, I don't care. But I still shouldn't.

I caress her cheek with the hand not clasp with her own. She closes her eyes and leans into the touch. *Am I reading these signals right? Cause it seems like she's ok with this, like she might actually feel the same. But what if I'm just misreading things. What if we're just close friends, hell I've never really ever had any sort of good friend so how am I supposed to know that they don't act like this.*

But then she lean forward and presses her face into the crook between my neck and shoulder and releases my hand so that she can wrap her arms around me. I freeze for a moment and then I let myself mimic her actions and return the embrace.

I can't help wondering what the fuck is going on between us right now. I pull back enough to look into her eyes and her face looks just as confused as I feel.

*Ok, just do it Lehane. Look at her, don't let yourself pussy out of this and run from her. Just lean forward a little more. That's all it'll take. Lean forward a little bit more and kiss her god damn it!*

The internal struggle keeps on inside my mind but I begin to succumb to it and slowly lean forward. I don't know if it's just my hope clouding my perception but it almost seems like B is leaning forward to meet me. Our faces are so close, I can feel her breath on my face. I can smell a hint of vomit lingering on her breath but hell if I care, she smelled a hell of a lot worse when that demon exploded all over us and I still wanted to kiss her then.

I'm about to to go for it, about to make that final move when suddenly a thought overwhelms me, *What if she doesn't really want this? What if she freaks? What if she doesn't want to be your friend? What if she asks you to leave her alone? To leave Sunnydale? To leave her on her own? What if you lose her because of this? Because you couldn't control yourself?*

I turn my head slightly and instead of kissing her lips I place a light kiss on her right cheek and then draw back.

I look at her and notice she's breathing heavily and she's flushed. *Was she waiting for me to actually kiss her? Was she WANTING me to kiss her? Great, maybe you've gone and fucked it all up anyways Lehane. Great job you idiot...*

"Um, Buffy I should go. I've gotta um, go grab a few weapons and shit from my place before the sun goes down. Also I've gotta call Giles and tell him you're sick but doing ok, I promised I'd call and update him. And I should probably find Xander and Willow so they can go patrolli..."

"Faith, please don't go," she interrupts my nervous babble. Imagine that, me, babbling. I guess Buffy really brings out the crazy in me.

She's looking at me with pleading eyes. I turn my back to her because I know that if I gaze her into her eyes for much longer I won't be able to say no to her, "I should go. I'll see you later B, I hope you feel better."

And then I'm off. Walking out the door to her bedroom, practically flying down the stairs and out the front door. I've gotta think. The thought of losing her hurts so much maybe I'll be better off without her. *Maybe I should just leave, maybe that would be best for the both of us. Shit! I don't fucking know!* But I need to think, and I need to breathe, and I can hardly breathe anytime I'm near her. *Does she have any fucking idea what she does to me?! If I didn't love her so much I'd probably hate her...but I do love her...I AM IN LOVE WITH BUFFY SUMMERS! Shit, that sounds too loud even in my thoughts, how am I ever going to be able to say it out loud?*

All I know is I've gotta think, and I've gotta breathe, and shit I've gotta blow off some steam...and so of course idiot me is headed for the only place worse for me at the moment than heading back to Buffy.

*Shit I really hope I'll be able to control myself enough so I can talk with him without staking him...*

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Ok! I'll try to keep the chapter postage more regular trying to post a new one at least once every couple of days. I hope you're liking the story so far, but tell me what you think! Thanks for reading :)


	7. Chapter 7

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I'm trying to keep up with regular updates. I haven't had as much writing time for this fic as I would normally like to have because I've gotta work on writing poetry for a creative writing project, but I've tried to put aside time to work on this! Please keep up with the reviews, it really helps me to know what you guys think! Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy!

Chapter 7:

-Faith's P.O.V.-

I headed towards Angel's mansion. I have no idea why I think I should go there, because since he's been back from hell the only shit he's managed to do is piss me off and draw Buffy's attention and pity. But I've gotta talk to him. He's the only person I know who's managed to actually have a semi-successful relationship with her: even if it did kinda end with him losing his soul, threatening her and her friends, and trying to end the world...ok, yeah maybe not "semi-successful relationship", maybe just relationship.

*Man, I can't let myself think about that bad shit while I'm in there or I'll end up losing it and staking him right there. B would never forgive me if I killed him, she'd hate me.*

I reach his mansion and don't bother to knock, specially cause he doesn't exactly really have a door, and I figure he's home since it's like still sunny out; I'm assuming thanks to his vamp senses he'll figure out I'm here before I make my presence known. I walk past the curtain in his doorway without hesitation and enter a large open room.

Soul-boy's standing right there in front of the door just far enough away that the sunlight doesn't reach him. Obviously he heard me before I even came in. He looks confused to see me here but hey, I'm surprised to see myself here too. "Hey, um, Faith."

"Hey, you got a second to talk?"

"Yeah, it's not like I've got anywhere to go right now," he nods his head toward the sunny doorway, "What's up? Does it have to do with Buffy? Is she ok? You guys need help?"

"Uh, yes and no. It does have to do with her, and uh, she's sorta ok, she's sick because some demon but she'll get better in a few days."

"Was it a Morbus Demon?"

"Yeah, uh how'd you know?"

"Killed a few of those a few nights ago. They usually travel in groups of four, I only killed three so I figured there would be another one out there somewhere. Glad you guys took care of it. How is she?"

"Um, she's ok I guess. She's been nauseous and sleeping a lot but other than that she doesn't seem to be doing too bad," I shrug, "But uh, that's not the reason I came to talk to you. I need to ask your advice."

He just nods his head in response and goes to sit down on the couch by the fireplace. I walk over toward him but instead of sitting down I nervously pace back and forth. I don't know how B can stand to be around him, my vamp radar is going off the charts and I'm just twitching to fight something. I take a few seconds to calm myself down and then go sit near him.

"Uh, I don't really know how to start off asking you this, so I guess I'll just kinda start off telling you why I'm here. But I'm warning you, if you get angry at me and so much as flinch I'll ram a stake through your sternum before you can blink..."

He chuckles, "Faith, I'm not gonna get angry at you no matter what you say. I've done a hell of a lot of horrible things that I can't undo, so I'm in no place to judge."

"Um well um then I should probably start off with this," I take a deep breath, avoiding eye contact, "I'm in love with B. I know you two were together, and uh, not really sure if you two still are or what, but I don't know. I have no idea what to do, and it's driving me crazy, and um I don't know. Sometimes I think she might feel something for me, sometimes I tell myself there's no way I stand any sort of chance. I'm going crazy and she drives me crazy and I just don't know what to do. I came to you, even though honestly I can't stand to be around you no offense, because you're the only other person in the world who might understand how crazy she's driving me..."

He's been silently listening to me through my whole speech. He doesn't look angry or upset, he just kinda looks sad. "Faith, before I give you advice, I want to assure you I'm not angry and I'm not going to hurt you out of jealousy or possessiveness or anything. I..." he pauses and takes a deep breath, "I've had a feeling that Buffy might be in love with someone else for awhile. The two of us haven't been together since before I went to hell, a relationship between the two of us has no future. I can't give her a future, I can't give her an intimate relationship, I can't give her kids, and I can't give her a normal life. I love her, and I always will, but I want her to be with someone who can give her what she needs and wants. Faith, you can give her a normal life. Every time she comes to visit me she talks about you more and more. I don't think she's consciously admitted it to herself yet but she's in love with you. I know she still loves me, and she still tells me that, but she's not IN love with me, not anymore at least."

I'm just kinda dumbfounded, I really didn't expect him to take my confession about being in love with the love of his life quite so well. As much as I can't stand him, Soul-boy isn't really that bad.

"Um, well..." I'm kinda unsure of what to say. I have no idea what I expected him to say or what I wanted to hear, but now I'm kinda at a loss for words, "Um, so I just really don't know what to do Angel, I wanna tell her and show her how I feel but I'm terrified of scaring her away. I don't wanna lose her. I'd rather just be her friend than end up losing her. I don't want to know what it's like to be without her, it hurts just to be away from her. I was just with her, and I almost kissed her, I wanted to do it so badly, but I was just too scared. Man, I'm terrified, what do I do?" I hadn't realized till now that I have tears streaming down my face.

Angel leans forward to put his arm around me and I flinch, "Faith, it's ok," I relax a little and he draws me into his arms and holds me. Being held by him doesn't feel anything like when B holds me, but it still feels safer than not being held at all, "It's ok. Buffy cares about you. I don't know if she's admitted her feelings to herself yet or not, but she loves you Faith, I can see it in her eyes when she talks about you. You just have to be patient, and don't second guess yourself. If you keep running away every time you get scared you'll never know how she feels. You need to talk to her. The most important thing in any friendship or relationship is communication."

I know he's right. I've gotta talk to B. I've just been too big of a pussy so far to just talk to her. I pull myself out of Angel's arms and stand up, "Uh, thanks man, uh Angel. I'll um, I'm gonna talk to her tonight. I gotta go find the scoobs, but uh, thanks man, really."

"You're welcome. Faith, even though I still love Buffy I want what's best for her and what will make her happy. I can see that you really care for her, go talk to her. I know she can really drive you insane sometimes, but she's worth it. Go. And tell her you saw me and I say hi and that I hope she gets well soon."

"Yeah, ok. Um, thanks again Soul-b...uh, Angel. Later."

I leave Angel's mansion and set of back towards Sunnydale High. I get there and find Giles sorting books behind his desk. Red is sitting at a table studying out of a textbook and Xan-man is sitting with his feet on the table paging through a comic book.

"Hey guys, uh glad everyone's here. I went to see Buffy. She's doing ok, she's definitely sick, but it doesn't seem too bad. I told her about the movie night, she suggested the three of us patrol together since she won't be there and then pick up pizza and movies and head back to her place."

"Hey-eh! We get to get in some slayage action! Aw yea!" Xander nods his head excitedly.

"No, I want you guys to stay back unless things get too bad or you have to go on the defense. Let me do most of the slaying. Buffy just wanted me to take someone else with, I think she's worried that without backup I'm gonna get reckless and get myself killed or something."

Xander's shoulders slouch, "Aw well ok, at least we'll still get to see some sweet ass kicking...right Will?"

Willow looks up from her textbook, "Oh yeah, totally. And I've been practicing this one spell that might even help you out!"

"Sorry Red, but I don't know if I trust spells and stuff not to go all wonky. No offense."

She shrugs, "It's ok, I guess my magick success isn't always the most consistent..."

There's an awkward pause so then I decide to break the silence, "Uh, hey it's getting dark, you guy's ready to go?"

Xander just nods and Willow says "Yeah, just let me pack up."

I walk over to the cage to pick out a few weapons and soon I'm exiting the library wielding stakes and knifes followed by Xander and Willow packing stakes, holy water, and crosses.


End file.
